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Every once in a while I can still taste the last word I should have said to you. I try to swallow it since I never got a chance to get it out but it stays stuck in my throat because I choked the first time I wanted to say it
Sometimes
When the moon is full, I say to myself I'm gonna call you up and pardon every thought I held captive and you're gonna come back and it'll be alright but then whatever song I heard that inspired that notion ends, and I then go back to what I'm doing, ashamed to look at the phone failing once again to escape the gravity of self pity.
Or maybe it's more than that.
Maybe I'm not saying as much as I should have because you needed to stay
gone. Maybe instead of assuming this is a storm we could weather this is my subconscious telling me our heart and soul's ties need to be severed.
Maybe you just needed to be on your way, maybe what we had was what we had and honestly, now that I've taken the love goggles off I can see that you were gonna leave anyway. I see now that I should have saw the signs that said you were clearly looking for the one marked 'exit'. I know I did what I did but now that I think about it loving someone is not a jones you could easily shake, so maybe you had more help than you let on.
Maybe you got what you wanted.
Maybe the woman that existed next to me only existed next to me as the embodiment of you having something to prove. Maybe once you got what you needed from me what you saw then wasn't what you need to see to stay with me and our summer turned into the coldest winter ever, prompting you to leave me.
This among all the other reasons I've hypothesized makes sense.
I have to say I pity you. I mean the real you sat bound so long inside of you she was obviously upset at what you settled for, we both knew I wasn't your normal type and
I've heard that before
but we can only blame me for the fact that you stayed. If I wasn't who I am on the inside it wouldn't have convinced you to stay as long as you did, but as I said before, it wasn't really love that kept you home those nights. I have to say that the only thing worse than being paranoid is staying paranoid though there is a sweet glee in being right. Still, there are some nights where I miss our warm denial, as opposed to the cold truth. Then again that's why I have a jacket. Because when it gets down to it, I would rather stay by myself, then love alone, standing next to you.
Sometimes
When the moon is full, I say to myself I'm gonna call you up and pardon every thought I held captive and you're gonna come back and it'll be alright but then whatever song I heard that inspired that notion ends, and I then go back to what I'm doing, ashamed to look at the phone failing once again to escape the gravity of self pity.
Or maybe it's more than that.
Maybe I'm not saying as much as I should have because you needed to stay
gone. Maybe instead of assuming this is a storm we could weather this is my subconscious telling me our heart and soul's ties need to be severed.
Maybe you just needed to be on your way, maybe what we had was what we had and honestly, now that I've taken the love goggles off I can see that you were gonna leave anyway. I see now that I should have saw the signs that said you were clearly looking for the one marked 'exit'. I know I did what I did but now that I think about it loving someone is not a jones you could easily shake, so maybe you had more help than you let on.
Maybe you got what you wanted.
Maybe the woman that existed next to me only existed next to me as the embodiment of you having something to prove. Maybe once you got what you needed from me what you saw then wasn't what you need to see to stay with me and our summer turned into the coldest winter ever, prompting you to leave me.
This among all the other reasons I've hypothesized makes sense.
I have to say I pity you. I mean the real you sat bound so long inside of you she was obviously upset at what you settled for, we both knew I wasn't your normal type and
I've heard that before
but we can only blame me for the fact that you stayed. If I wasn't who I am on the inside it wouldn't have convinced you to stay as long as you did, but as I said before, it wasn't really love that kept you home those nights. I have to say that the only thing worse than being paranoid is staying paranoid though there is a sweet glee in being right. Still, there are some nights where I miss our warm denial, as opposed to the cold truth. Then again that's why I have a jacket. Because when it gets down to it, I would rather stay by myself, then love alone, standing next to you.
posted by Element615 at 9:18 AM
2 Comments:
nodding head...yep....hugs
"That's what I have a jacket for..."
I wanted to keep you warm not because I wanted to be close to you, but simply because I saw you shiver. Yet in my attempts to lighten your load. I tripped over what I thought was my own lugguage, twas instead my heart recently dislocated from my sleeve; I began to fall head over heels.
- Me
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