Thursday, June 18, 2009

30

We go back like screen 'do's', like rushing home in time to hear Lion-O yell, "HOOOOO!!!" We go back like the first Velcro shoe, like back when back when library dues where all you had to pay. Like fetching ugly metal skates, back when tables had love-meaning both parents and hot plates, when catching that street light meant you were out to late and mama had that whoopin ready right on time. We go back like "Who your people?" Like getting from under those covers Sunday to get up under that steeple and you better keep your mouth shut.
We go back like shirts with gators, when we wanted to be lovers not haters and 'like' was a commitment, 'no' was a death sentence, and 'maybe,' just meant you wanted to keep your options open. Like hopin your folks was cool with you staying over Kenny's but you couldn't take any chances, so you called from his crib and gave his momma the phone. We go back like 'Conjunction Junction, what's your function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses.' Back when P.E. taught us to fight the powers that b.e., and brothers and sisters had causes
Like joining hands around Virginia trees, when cooties was the worst disease, and chicken pox or the flu meant you had the day off. Meditation was you on your back with your face facing sky and my friends and I pondered the ultimate questions of the universe: why are we here? Could the super friends beat up the devil? What ninja turtle is that cloud shaped like? If I ate while on the toilet, how long would it really take?
Like snickering with my brother an hour after bedtime, knowing full well your mother would bust through that door and administer the proper motivation for a goodnight's rest. And I would do anything to go back in time and make myself realize that my little brother was my best friend, and still is.
When watching Sunday afternoon kung fu theater gave you a hope that bully was gonna catch you on the wrong damn day and get more than lunch money. Back when your woman, your honey, the love of your life didn't even know you existed, and would not until the 11th grade at a house party where she's drunk and already seeing someone and besides, she's 'always seen you as a friend.'
We go back like bad promises; like when we swore with spit or blood soak palms that nothing would tear us apart and go from friends to faces in the hall to phone calls holidays when we see each other's mothers. When we were so close our mothers became each other's mothers, and we evolved from friends to boys to cousins and nothing could break that, not even the sibling crush. We go back like regrets, like when all we wanted from the world was everything we haven't seen yet and only now notice that list never seems to get shorter. We go back like mayo sammiches and sugar water.
Where nothing tripped you out more that Optimus dying, Thriller, "Luke, I am your father" and E.T.'s big ass eyes. Multitasking was being it in freeze tag, ice cream headaches were your jetlag and getting online meant you were in P.E., or getting ready to go to lunch. Myspace, was my corner in four square or tetherball, twitter was something that happened when you sneezed, and facebook, meant you fell asleep in class-again.
If today was not forever tomorrow would be, and right now was all we could see other than the ice cream man from 10 miles away, a pickle, red kool-aid or some sun tea if we were thirsty and if we had to, a the nearest backyard faucet would suffice.
Like when Tasha kept punching you, and neither of you knew why, and Kiesha only played with the boys and no one knew why, James loved double dutch and no one knew why, and we didn't even care, we was all cool. Unity was an unwritten rule and even if we fought, we were down before the moon came up.
Tank tops were not called 'wife beaters' and for that matter most fathers weren't either. Our chat room was the classroom before teacher walked in or the back of the bus; and you could at least carry the cardboard or the boombox if you couldn't break like us- which meant I carried the cardboard or the boombox-either way, you were accepted. Back when we squeezed the day to the last drop, stretched out on cars, rocks and trees that didn't belong to us and savored our reward; a tired orange sun, leaving calming fire and diamond encrusted velvet in its wake, promising and the same if not a better chase tomorrow.
We go back like dreams of a future worth looking forward to; and despite the ambition 11-15 instilled he never got that rocket pack, she never got that flying car, you never kissed Jessica Salter and some of us, we never got 34.
We go back like prom 94', and even though you did good all night, on that last dance Suzette noticed, and you hoped that smile wasn't out of pity. We go back before global villages, where there was a local 'Our Block' in every suburb, hood, ghetto, borough, favela, town and city, when 3rd grade ugly turned into end of 8th grade pretty and blossomed into end of the summertime and 14 fine, and she ain't even hearing you now, because she always knew she was beautiful.
We go back like hand to hand biometrics, like being addicted to Rubik's Cube, Tetris, and each other. We go back 'we not leavin if you not comin', like we all make a stand or we all just keep runnin, and when we're done we find each other. We go back like bonds unbroken, love unborn or unspoken and the days we held tighter once they were gone, we go back because we all need to, because it helps us, movin' on.




29

run run run run is all I ever seem to do even when I sit still all I ever do is run to run from run around can't stop must keep moving must not fail must not know must not say must not see must not feel must not let her or them must keep moving they are coming it is almost here it will not be found no one will look so keep running lie and tell the others that you are looking for anything other than a place to hide so that no one will know not even me must keep must not let me find me must not know what will happen what can happen don't know what will happen what can happen don't know don't want to find out don't want to know just want to hide but can't even hiding spaces lie you must keep moving take only what you need only what you can carry don't hold on to anything nothing will stay and not if you keep moving thoughts are itchy all a mess everything is such a mess don't know where to start must clean up can't do it right now just keep going no time for anything not nothing keep low in the trees some of them can see you from up high just go just go you'll know when you get there

numb

just get there

slow

just get there

cold

just get there

hide

just get there find a way you move them out of the way keep moving there keep moving they are hunting it is hunting it does not play well it will breath on you, it will know your scent it will swallow you whole you will not even get a chance to cry it only eats quiet little boys none of them scream they all fall apart so well between it's teeth can smile when it eats can only choo choo at little dead boys that are still are still alive they have such sweet souls so delicious so so delicious run little dead boy just keep moving to not stop keep running running get sweeter don't change stay afraid stay afraid of afraid stay sweet for teeth and keep running, don't stop just go just go and don't go where I can find you just keep moving stay under find dark places cold dark place find cold dark wet places wet from not water just keep moving and do not stop for today just hide in the running laugh in the running make them smile in the running never stop moving do what you can to move even when you are still